We hear a lot of talk about people not forgiving, about grudges and bitterness eating people alive. And it’s true—unforgiveness is poison. But I’m struck by how many people carry hurt from things they didn’t even do. They’re paying the price for other people’s evil or carelessness or just plain neglect.
Sometimes you inherit the damage. A parent’s addiction, an ancestor’s violence, systems that were never built to include you. And people will tell you to just forgive and move on, and I get it—hanging onto that stuff doesn’t help you. But forgiveness without acknowledging what actually happened? That’s not healing, that’s just swallowing it.
God doesn’t ask you to pretend the hurt didn’t happen. God asks you to trust that God’s stronger than whatever broke you. That God can mend what’s torn apart. And yeah, part of that healing is letting go of the bitterness. But the other part is naming what happened and asking God to make something good out of it. That’s a real forgiveness. That’s the kind that actually saves you.
A reflection by Rev. MaryGean Cope